Trauma has made me who I am, and I like it

I’ve noticed a lot lately that my perception on the things I’ve been through is really different that other peoples’ perception of it.

When I talk about my health and life lows without cushioning what I say, it seems to make people uncomfortable because it sounds terrible. But the honest truth is that it’s not. You don’t need to say you’re sorry for what I’ve been through. I’m happy about all of it.

Continue reading “Trauma has made me who I am, and I like it”

What I learnt from my involuntary weight loss

Content warning: Weight loss, eating disorders, fatphobia, discussion of physical and mental illness

We’re all screwed up. Honestly, we are so brainwashed it’s out of control.

In the last year I’ve lost 20% of my body weight then gained it all back. I went down two dress sizes then went back up them. I lost most of the fat on my body, then I got it all back. I lost the natural shape of my body, then I filled back out.

Continue reading “What I learnt from my involuntary weight loss”

Coping with medication and treatment changes – the 5 stages of grief

I’ve been diagnosed with Common Variable Immunodeficiency (CVID) for over three years now and I’ve noticed something that no doctors or nurses have ever warned me about.

Something that happens to me so consistently, I’m not really sure why there isn’t, at the very least, a brochure handed to me to help me out when I go through it.

And that is, how bloody hard it is to cope with medication, treatment, or health management changes. Continue reading “Coping with medication and treatment changes – the 5 stages of grief”

Why the 40 hour work week doesn’t work for me any more

Content warning: Mentions of physical and mental illness and unintentional weight loss

As of next Monday I’m taking my work hours down to 20 hours a week for the foreseeable future.

I’m a 31yo, upbeat, fairly healthy looking woman who works out several times a week, is smart and driven and loves my job.

So why am I cutting down my work hours?

Continue reading “Why the 40 hour work week doesn’t work for me any more”

Getting honest about suicidality in chronic illness

Content warning: Suicide, suicidal ideation and descriptions of suicidal ideation

I’ve talked about a lot of things with my friends and family (and anyone on the internet who wants to know how my bowel condition is going). I’ll talk about my haemorrhoids to anyone who asks. I’m a bit of an open book if people are asking questions (for better or worse) and I’m quite proud of that openness.

But one thing I’ve never gotten very deep into is the depression that is linked with chronic illness and how that can dive into the realm of suicidal thoughts, ideation, plans or worse.

Continue reading “Getting honest about suicidality in chronic illness”

Why I love Frida Kahlo, and I think you should too

Frida Kahlo is like, so cool right now.

She has such a recognisable face that seems to be plastered everywhere – all through Mexican restaurants, painted on the sides of buildings, in tattoos, on t-shirts, as costumes on Halloween. She’s just everywhere!

But who is Frida, and why is she so fashionable right now? And why am I writing about her on a chronic illness blog?! Well, I’ll tell you.

Continue reading “Why I love Frida Kahlo, and I think you should too”

Good health is a privilege. I hope you appreciate it every day.

You know when you have a cold and your nose is all gross and stuffy and blocked. Every time you blow it, your nose is still blocked – it’s like nothing happens but you’re still going through boxes of tissues and getting a sore red nose.

You tell yourself, “when my nose is unblocked, I will be so endlessly happy!” Continue reading “Good health is a privilege. I hope you appreciate it every day.”

Sick women are strong women

Today is International Women’s Day so I thought it was a good day to write about my chronically ill girls and ladies!

I have a  theory that while we may not be physically stronger than men on average, women grow to be much stronger than men in other ways. By going through the experiences they go through in their day-to-day lives and how they just keep on living and blossoming and growing and giving despite all of that, it’s just amazing. Continue reading “Sick women are strong women”

Dealing with the death of your online support friend

Content warning: Death, dying, and physical illness.

You have a rare or chronic illness and you struggle with feelings of being alone and people not understanding. So you go onto Facebook, or another forum, and find a private group of people with the same issues as you. Amazing, you’re no longer alone! Continue reading “Dealing with the death of your online support friend”

To rosé or not to rosé?

It’s the start of February. That means I haven’t drunk any alcohol for a month.

The only reason I wasn’t drinking is that I finally started listening to my body and realised that the reflux I’m getting from mixing my medication with wine is really uncomfortable and I’m not sure why I’m doing it.

The idea was to stop for January, see how I felt without the reflux and see if helps the symptoms of my bowel disease also ease up a bit. Then in February, go back to drinking as usual (but maybe less to avoid the reflux). Continue reading “To rosé or not to rosé?”