Family and intimate partner violence during lockdown

I’ve found myself really upset after seeing more information about the 4 women killed in one fortnight recently, during the current lockdown in NZ.

There have been 8 family violence homicides total since this lockdown began. It’s so scary and upsetting, and I can’t imagine what their family and friends are going through as well.

The thought of being locked down with my abusive ex makes me feel physically sick, and I can’t help but think about anyone out there who could be experiencing that sort of manipulation, fear, and potential violence and feeling like they have nowhere to go.

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Happy Pride Month 🌈

Is this me coming out?

What is coming out?

Do you have to come out publicly for it to count? Sit down with your parents and have “the chat”? When are you officially out of the closet? Does literally everyone you know have to know?

I don’t know if this is me coming out… that probably depends if you know my situation or not. In my opinion, if you assumed I was straight, that’s sort of on you for making that assumption 😉

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Are you really a Nice Guy?

I don’t know why I keep writing about topics that I know are confronting, but they keep being front of mind for me, so here we go.

I’ve been thinking a lot about “Nice Guys” lately.

Probably cos I’m surrounded by them.

Which makes sense cos I don’t tend to surround myself with misogynists or the types of people who make rape jokes or whatever toxic dudes do these days.

And honestly, I don’t think that type surround themselves with people like me… cos generally, outspoken feminist types who call them out don’t spark joy for them.

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Craft beer isn’t as woke as it thinks it is

Sometimes I feel like craft beer nerds hang out in a space that is its own little bubble – talking about upcoming beers, rating the latest trends, and sharing in-joke memes about beer styles that the average Joe has never heard of.

But today, that craft bubble burst today when David Gaughan, the owner of Eagle Brewing in Christchurch was outed for posting a racist comment on a 1 NEWS Facebook post.

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I’m poor cos I’m sick 🥲

This is something I rarely hear people talk about, and I didn’t think it’d affect me quite honestly. But here I am, poor cos I’m chronically ill… Cool cool cool.

It’s actually really hard to write about, because in 2021 capitalistic lyfe, we tend to measure our value by our productivity and earning potential and I hold a lot of shame around this. #InternalisedAbleism

We’re all out here aiming to have awesome, independent GirlBoss energy. Working 60 hours a week for a 40 hour salary because that’s what it takes to be seen and succeed in getting the ideal career progression.

But some of us just can’t… and even though I don’t necessarily want this hardcore career woman life like I definitely used to, I’d quite like to just support myself in the way that it feels like I should be able to.

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A love letter to myself and the women in my life

It’s Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and, ironically, I’m too busy dealing with current and past sexual assault issues to write about it properly. How’s that for life being classic.

So instead of that, I thought I’d write about something entirely different until I have the mental space to post about the topics I’m wanting to talk about.

Sometimes (often), I write blogs, then they become almost immediately irrelevant as soon as I post them.

I think when I admit to myself and the world something that I feel or believe is an issue I have, I can then move past it.

Acceptance and all that I guess? You can’t fix a problem until you admit you have one.

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What I learnt from my involuntary weight loss

Content warning: Weight loss, eating disorders, fatphobia, discussion of physical and mental illness

We’re all screwed up. Honestly, we are so brainwashed it’s out of control.

In the last year I’ve lost 20% of my body weight then gained it all back. I went down two dress sizes then went back up them. I lost most of the fat on my body, then I got it all back. I lost the natural shape of my body, then I filled back out.

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Why the 40 hour work week doesn’t work for me any more

Content warning: Mentions of physical and mental illness and unintentional weight loss

As of next Monday I’m taking my work hours down to 20 hours a week for the foreseeable future.

I’m a 31yo, upbeat, fairly healthy looking woman who works out several times a week, is smart and driven and loves my job.

So why am I cutting down my work hours?

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Good health is a privilege. I hope you appreciate it every day.

You know when you have a cold and your nose is all gross and stuffy and blocked. Every time you blow it, your nose is still blocked – it’s like nothing happens but you’re still going through boxes of tissues and getting a sore red nose.

You tell yourself, “when my nose is unblocked, I will be so endlessly happy!” Continue reading “Good health is a privilege. I hope you appreciate it every day.”

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To rosé or not to rosé?

It’s the start of February. That means I haven’t drunk any alcohol for a month.

The only reason I wasn’t drinking is that I finally started listening to my body and realised that the reflux I’m getting from mixing my medication with wine is really uncomfortable and I’m not sure why I’m doing it.

The idea was to stop for January, see how I felt without the reflux and see if helps the symptoms of my bowel disease also ease up a bit. Then in February, go back to drinking as usual (but maybe less to avoid the reflux). Continue reading “To rosé or not to rosé?”

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