Guest post: A case for being kind to everyone

Hi everyone and welcome to my first blog. I’m just starting out at this so we will see how we go!

First, how are you? I genuinely hope you are doing great, but if you’re not that is okay too.

Secondly, a bit about me…

I’m a 31-year-old female from Auckland, New Zealand. I am part of a beautiful family of four – my husband, my two gorgeous boys and me.

Sounds pretty standard, but there is one thing different about us…our youngest son has dwarfism.

Instead of talking about my journey (many of you reading it will probably know it well), I want to talk about people. These humans we interact with every. single. day.

Let’s not assume we know what they are going through – okay?

I want to use some visual imagery to help my point (see tiny teddies below).

If only life was as easy as this picture, where our different facials reflect our current mood or situation. A tiny teddy is cheeky, sleepy, hungry, tired or grumpy. We too go through these different emotions, but how often does it show? So, comes back to my point – please let’s not assume we know how someone is doing by their smile or think they are a ‘jerk’ because they snapped at us or seemed irritable.

There is often something just lurking under the surface if we dig a bit deeper and don’t take things personally…their mum’s sick with cancer, it’s the anniversary of their father’s death, their child hasn’t slept for over a year, their dog has to be put down, their partner has an addiction, they have lost a baby or in our case our unborn child was diagnosed with a potentially fatal genetic abnormality.

But so many of us are ‘Resilient’ and ‘Have it all together’ with our ‘Gram-worthy’ pictures/body/family/house/life. Actually, this isn’t usually the truth – look at Demi Lovato, a beautiful person who seemingly has it all.

So, what am I trying to get at here?

Let’s try this week and ask people, I mean really ask people how they are and expect an honest response. Let’s not text or call but meet up with someone and look them in the eye and ask. Because I know full well it is SO hard to open up. Speaking a situation or problem out loud takes strength and courage because it seems to make it all the more real. But a problem shared is a problem halved.

Let’s not react this week when someone sends a passive-aggressive email or says a hurtful remark because hurt people hurt people. In psychology, “The Attribution theory” looks at why people respond to certain situations the way they do – it considers the internal (such as personality characteristics) and external factors (such as the environment they are in). In this way, many, many things impact on the way people interact with us and respond and being aware of this (I believe) is the beginning of true compassion.

Let’s not just try to understand people and their situations but let’s respond to others with kindness, sincerity and compassion. For you don’t know how this might impact someone in need.



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One thought on “Guest post: A case for being kind to everyone”

  1. Couldn’t agree with you more, I think what you have said is particularly pertinent as it relates to our response to mental health or more specifically depression and suicide. Our current and approach seems to be to leave it to those who are suffering to speak up, tell a friend or call a help line. A suggestion that for someone who is suffering may well be a bridge too far and is light of our statistical failure to curb our suicide rate may well be failing. The idea that we should all take some collective responsibility for supporting and talking to others about their well being is a refreshing and entirely practical idea, bravo.

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